Relationships with Ex's!

So, part of my Health Coaching involves relationships!  You might not know it, but relationships with people affect our relationships with food!  Which in turn can cause roller coaster weight loss and gain and in general make you sick!  Some of you are sicker than you think!

I love to sit back and watch people!  Dad and I used to do it all the time and oh how much fun we had.  It has carried over into my adult life and especially now that I am into helping people!  I love FaceBook, but what I don't love is the Ex Bashing!  You know at one time you must have loved each other or you wouldn't have made a commitment to marry and raise children, right?  Or, like me, did you just think it was the thing to do at the time.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my partner, we just grew apart and honestly were too immature at the time to even understand what a good healthy relationship was!  But what I got out of it were 2 beautiful children and an extended family!

Now in the beginning of our separation and divorce, it was hard and we acted so immature.  I've come to realize that it wasn't one sided!  We both contributed to the split and that is something that you Ex Bashers need to realize!  It takes 2 to tango baby! 

As the years passed and we both remarried (and no we couldn't stand each others choice of partners at the time), we became much more mature and much more understanding because life threw us major curve balls along the way that forced us to "get along" or "be in the same room together".  Amazing what growing older can do for you!  Our daughter got really sick and was sick for over a year and half before we finally got a diagnoses and because my ex's wife was dealing with a sick child herself, she was a huge help to me.  Her mom was very sick during all this time and because I had thought the world of her mom, I spent a lot of time visiting with them and was there for them when she passed away.  I think it gave her peace of mind to know that we got along.  My ex's mother was terminally ill with cancer and being close to the family like I was, I was there for them during the time of her death.  The sad part is that she left out of this world not understanding why we got along.  You have to remember that just because you divorce, you don't have to divorce the family! 

Long story short, I don't know when the pixie dust was actually sprinkled on us, but we have become family!  We camp together, we go to the beach, we sit for hours in the hospital as support for each other, we shop together, we spend Christmas's together, we have game nights with our grown children, we spend hours at the race track together and we text or talk everyday!  One of the best times we had was in July when my parents came up and we all went boating for the 4th of July!  Yes, my dad even understands our relationship.  And maybe because he is terminally ill with cancer and realizes how short life really is!  The list goes on and on and I could write for hours!

We've been criticized and talked about (even had someone bash us on FB for getting along) and yes it may seem weird to some people, but it works for us.  I have a super husband and he has a super wife!  You Ex Basher's need to get past your personal grudges and agree to disagree about the reason behind the separation, but for goodness sake, move on!  It's not "if life will hand you lemons, it's when life hands you lemons" and you better be prepared to have to spend time together!  God puts you were you need to be and I am so thankful to call my Ex and Ex's wife my friends!

Here's a picture of us together in Martinsville!

Here's to happy and healthy relationships!
Kim